LOVE WILL FADE AWAY

 This post is for anyone who has passed the warm, bubbly, tingly feeling stage and they’re trying hard to figure out if they’re still in love or struggling to stay in love. I don’t know how it is at your end tho but keep reading.

Apparently, everyone has experienced this or if you’re just joining the lovey dovey stage, this is to let you know that love will fade away and it’s either you fade along or you re ignite your love. I read a book titled things I wish I’d known before getting married, though this post is not for married people as I’m not married yet and I have no idea about it but it’s for people who are struggling to remain in love. 

In the book, it is said that being in love is an emotional and obsessive feeling. However, emotions change and obsession fades. Research indicates that the average life span of “in love” obsessions is two years, two years guys ! Some might last a little bit longer and some might not be up to that but the average is two years. We have people who stayed together for 5 years or more before getting married don’t we? How did they scale through? (Honest question)

When you fall in love, it is agreed on that whatever you’re doing, whatever you overlook and to every date that you go with them, it’s the euphoria and the tingles that motivates you. When they no longer exists, when you come down off the emotional highs and those aspects of life that we disregarded in our euphoria begin to become important, love starts to fade. Differences begin to emerge and you’re always arguing with the absolute love of your life, the person you once thought to be perfect. This is why being in love is nothing compared to staying in love—that’s where the work is.

Saw these questions in the book too and if you are reading this, I am putting it to you:

1. On a scale of 1-10, how often do you feel the “tingles” for the person you are dating?

2. If the average life span of the tingles is two years, how much longer are you expected to have the euphoric feeling (how long have you been dating and how many months/years do you have till you come down off the high)?

3. To what degree have you explored the more important issues of compatibility in the following areas:

Intellectual dialogue, emotional control, social interest, spiritual unity, common values. (Thank you for answering)

Let’s talk about compatibility: compatibility in all ways will always stand in for you when love starts to fade. Another question, why are you with the person you’re dating? When they stop doing the things they used to do, are you still in love with them? What common values do you both possess that can keep you going when you come down off your high. If you cannot answer the last question from above correctly, survival is thin because you obviously will have nothing to stay for when love starts to fade.

People often mistake compatibility for how tall are we, I’m brown skin, he’s grey skin, i am cancer, he’s aries etc. Real compatibility is, intellectual dialogues, emotional control, social interest, spiritual unity, and other common important  values. Will the person you’re with understand to stay  down when love starts to fade or will they think you don’t care anymore, it is very important.

Why does it look like you won’t survie, why is it extremely hard for you to stay in love? These questions are for you to answer.

1. When you have disagreements with your partner, to what degree do you feel free to share your perspective? How do you typically respond when your partner shares his/her perspective?

2. How often, and to what degree do you share your emotions with each other?

3. What spiritual connection do both of you have?

4. How often do you talk about the future?

5. Do you support each-other with words of affirmations?

6. Do they ignore you during your struggling time?

7. How often do you apologize when things don’t go right (both of you)

8. How nice is your partner?

If you have great compatibility with them, these questions are very easy to answer and the answer should be positive but if it’s on the other hand, you already know what it is. I cannot emphasize enough that love is not enough reason to want to be with someone and so is money. If it’s just for the money, a time will come when it will be hard to give you a naira. I already explained why they do rosy things for you at the beginning and that’s cause the euphoria and the tingles was at work. They will sacrifice their stomach for you to have money in your bank account but when they come down off the high, they will tell you they need to eat too then you keep wondering, does he even love me anymore, lol.

It is important that you find someone with great compatibility, someone who will help you and remind you to stay in love when love starts to fade. Someone you are willing to smile with and say “I know this is just a stage, we will overcome it”

LOVE FADES BUT COMPATIBILITY STAYS STILL, IT WILL HELP YOU PICKUP.