DO I SOUND FAMILIAR?

 Sitting on the couch with a slice of bread in my hand and a bottle of water, I remembered I haven’t posted anything on my blog.

I know most of you know me already and we’ve met a couple of times but let me re-introduced myself and because this blog will be about people (real life stories, relationships and other stories), I will go first.

My real name is Balqees and that haven’t changed. My forefather’s name is Adewunmi and somehow we inherited that (of-course) but you know, when I was little, I wanted to change my surname to my father’s first name (Tajudeen), used it for about 2 terms in my secondary school and everyone was getting used to it, even my teachers. Damn, I really do not fancy popularity. Adewunmi is a very popular name, if you google my father right away you will see him. For someone who is so popular yet living a very unpopular life, I used to think I’ll go scot free but everywhere I turn to, it’s “are you Imam’s daughter”, it pisses me off.

Let me tell you about how I was born: My mother married my father in her early 20’s and she used to be my father’s Arabic student (I guess love is a beautiful thing, lol). They got married and few weeks after my father’s mother died, they gave birth to their bouncing baby girl (Adewunmi Balqees-Iyabode) I do not include it in my name because I didn’t come back from anywhere but everyone believed she (my grandmother) came back. I really did came on my own.

Growing up, i stayed with my mum till I was 7 and that’s because they both divorced when I was about 3 years of age. As many people will say divorce affects the child, I’m happy to tell you that I didn’t even feel it. My mum use to stay with her parents which are in the same town with my father so I get to see my dad a lot and in-fact, I loved him more than my mum. Who was taking care of my responsibilities, i have no idea up till this moment but I remember my dad will always send someone to pick me up for Arabic school every evening and I’ll get a lot of gifts after seeing him plus my mum will buy quality dresses (yes, my mum will never allow her kids to wear second grade) for me and she drops me off at school. Every Friday, I love to pray at my father’s mosque so I’ll get to listen to his voice and if by any chance see him (he gets most busy on Fridays).

My grandmother (my mother’s mum) who’s dead now (may her soul continue to rest) used to be my very good friend. My mum works most times, which leaves me and my grandmother alone at home. She spoils me the most and I never get to do anything in the house. She was a retired teacher and we used to call her “Iya teacher”. The only thing that made us fight was she will not allow me to mingle with other kids because of bad influence but I love to play with them. My grandmother was a very good woman and one thing that my father respects her for is: she never stopped praying in my father’s mosque even with the fact that he divorced her daughter. She accepted him not only as her daughter’s husband but also as a leader and that’s on another level of loyalty and I remembered when she died, my father single handedly carried her into her grave and told everyone not to help him. He loved her so much. I really can’t remember what my mum’s fathers looked like but I know he loves to make jest of my dad’s bike man and he’s a disciplinarian. Everyone freaks out on his presence.

When I was 7, I made my decision without anyone asking me, I told my mum I wanted to start living with my father. The only time I get to spend too much hours in my father’s house was during Muslims festive period (ileya) wearing the same dress as the rest of my siblings and every-time I’m going back to my mum’s, I cry. Not because I don’t want to be with my mum but it’s boring being the only child and they won’t allow me to play with the other kids who are too exposed for their age. I know she probably felt betrayed by my decision but I sincerely did not care, I just wanted to be with the other kids. Maybe this caused fights or arguments, I don’t know and still do not know. My mum carried herself a lot and I’m not used to the sad or arguing her. All I know is, she will solve everything and get back to be soon enough.

When I got to my father’s house, paraaddiiissssseeeee! I was the happiest and I quickly waved my mum goodbye and disappeared into the rooms.

……TO BE CONTINUED